A different look- A Common Theme

Memorial Day. Not my favorite day. It’s not the family or the day off; its the depth of loss and inability to properly morn those to whom freedom was paid for. 

I was reminded in reading this mornings blog from M.G. Edwards about an additional group of folks, who should be included in remembrance today. Edwards is traveler, author, and blogger you should want to read. 

I want to add one more group. This group has Memorial Day every day. They remember with ever step the cost of freedom and the remembrance of loss… but they remember.

Remember those in the Uniformed Service, those civilians having served in harms way and lost their lives, and remember the Guards of the Tomb of the unknown Soldier who live this every day of their assignment. 

Walk reverently the hollowed halls of our freedom, for the spirit of sacrifice is not in short supply. Remember the Why it is important. ‘Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction’- Reagan.

Enjoy you day today- Walk with your head high and shoulders back, but let your heart remember…

Doing Stupid Things

If you are over the age of 12, you have done stupid stuff. You have. You just knew you were right, attempted the task, and fell flat on your bum! If you ever got caught smoking in high-school; taking a nip from your father’s liquor cabinet you know what that feels like. Chances are you were caught by Mrs. Betty, that sweet nice old lady who just so happened to see you through the window as she was walking her dog just as you were about to indulge– Busted!

Even now, some (insert your number here) years later you and I still do stupid things. They are probably not intentionally stupid (we hope). Rather they are things that reflect a shortfall in our abilities.

Thinking I was super smart, I once paid $15,000 on a truck because I deserve to ‘fit in!’ I saw that same truck being sold $8k less two days later. That same mentality contributed 60% of my $75,000 debt load I once carried.

I once lost my cool with the kids and had a melt down just after talking with them about how to behave! …they called me on it! Argh! While you have never done these things, I have.

Being called out and calling ourselves out on stupid things we’ve done make us feel vulnerable and weak and thus wins the name “Stupid!”  But too often that title is placed upon us and not the action.  This is the problem.

We should all be given a medal; A “Welcome to Planet Earth” medal. On the back it should read, “Congratulations, You’re Normal!”

We all goof up, it’s part of who we are, so why are we so hard on ourselves? If you failed because you did not try, that’s on you and a whole other topic! But if you tried and failed, Great Job!

Teddy Roosevelt in Citizenship in a Republic states “if he [the Man in the Arena] fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”

You have permission to be the Man in the Arena!

So drop the mask there is hope for us. Stop acting like someone, rather something, you are not. …and that’s Perfect.

My friend no longer tries to iron clothes while she is wearing them and I no longer grab pans as they are taken out of the oven (well, most of the time). Give yourself some grace and choose to stop beating yourself up for being human. Decide to fight, decide to win, and if you fail while earnestly trying, your place will “never be with those  cold timid souls who neither knew victory, of defeat.”

Would you actually dare to be the Man in the Arena? If so, what would that look like?

Even in darkness, you are still on a Journey…

Bad things happen to good folks; Bad things happen to bad folks; Good things happen to them both.

Some of time, life deals a bad hand. I encourage you to play through.

I only wish someone had said in the beginning, that life was hard and unfair. There are so few real promises. But again, I’d encourage you to play through.

We are all tasked with hard things and find ourselves in impossible situations. Life turns out a different result than what you put in to it. No, It is not fair. Listen, your feelings are valid! You stand in a choir with a common voice of millions. You are not alone.

Lessons learned– when the light is on and everything seems to be working well; you achieve, you are recognized, you are honored, enjoy it! Walk in the coolness of the light. When the darkness pays a visit, you should only allow it to pay visit and not take permeant residence. But in the dimness of the night, do not allow the joy and peace you had in the light be squelched by the current darkness. You will have to fight this tooth and nail!

Even in darkness, you are still on a Journey…

My darkness only lasted a few years, yours maybe not as long, and others may last a long time. We determine who and what steals our peace.


So what’s your story? What’s the hardship and is it really too big that Light cannot fix it? If not, why do you say that?



Like this post, life is short. The need now is greater than it ever has been to take the small steps to get healthy; mentally, emotional, spiritually, financially…

Repairs are usually less costly than replacements… both long and short term.

Treat yourself well …its the only self you have!


What’s your move? What’s your repair?

A wise mind, a beautiful spirit, a pure body, and serving hands- a thank you-

He who finds a good wife finds a good thing…


The serving hands a beautifully spirited woman casts a light greater than the beauty of her amazing smile. I am such a man to whom great measure of blessing has been bestowed upon. Words fail to express a gratitude and humility equal to this measure.

Men, find your blessing. Wait for her. Serve and protect her. She will be jewel to you; she will have a wise mind, a beautiful spirit, a pure body, and serving hands. Oh, that more men trained their daughters in such a way.

My blessings are not in short supply… nor my love to such a woman…

Thank you LJ,

Your Husband

Life in the 100% is a fallacy; and perfection is taker of life

Life in the 100% is a fallacy; and perfection is taker of life.

-The Author

At best we are clay. We are fragile and subject to a being we did not choose. Gnash our teeth as we will, for our short comings are not few, it is met with a greater, but opposite, amount of grace and understanding.

Life is drawn from this grace and understanding.

Draw deeply from this well


Desire without Knowledge

A soul without knowledge is not good. Having a desire to go, be, and do without gaining knowledge and wisdom first, is a stacking the cards against you before you start. 

There is an old story about two men. One built his house on sand and the other rock. In this old story the man building his house on the sand, had a great desire but was in absence of knowledge and wisdom; because, when a storm came, his house was destroyed. Understand, I’m not mad at the guy, just wish he too could have built a villa on the rocky Mediterranean coast like the other guy.

As a culture, we move far too fast. Not getting knowledge about your desires/goals/dreams…is a problem. This is not a plea to not chase your dream or blow off opportunity, but rather take your time with growing your dream. You may remember in the story above, the storm that struck both houses was the same and only one remained.

Knowledge was the only difference…

Slow down and build your house. Get the knowledge of what you want to do… this is your start point!  Now go build your Villa!



Have you ever jumped-the-gun on a desire without knowledge? 

Stop taking other peoples rocks!

Rocks are like problems; sometimes useful for learning and solving issues, like counting or acting as a ballast on roof or ship. But unless you are a miner, geologist, or a gemologist, rocks have their place somewhere less that the top of your list of great things.

Everyone has problems. But you rob yourself of peace when you take on someone else’s problem. It’s their problem. Yes, love on them, Yes care for them, but do not pick up their rocks and carry them as your own.

If you have a problem with something or someone, that’s NOT my problem, it’s yours. So how are YOU going to deal with it?

Be the Boy Scout and ‘help others at all times,’ but stop being a self-induced door-mat and dumping ground for other people’s problems.

You are not a rock quarry! 


Have you every tried picking up someone else’s rocks? How’d that make you feel?


Superheros welcomed… No Masks Required

Did Batman really need a mask? Spiderman his mask? What about The Green Lantern? What about the Lone Ranger? Did he really need that raccoon mask? The answer is no. They could fight for the American way of life, Justice, and Equality even without their masks. But how, you ask? Simple! Because it’s who they already were. 

It’s who you are now.

We see a cool guy on the big screen and feel the need to pick up a mask and act the way they do. But that mask requires another mask and another just to play the part. Before we know it we have 1000 masks that we have to wear ever place we go. We start acting a part that we should have never been told we have to play. We become false, and soon, very soon, we totally forget who we really are. 

Once we forget who we are we forget the things that matter the most. We forgot how to dream, forget how to ‘like’ things, relax, breathe, be a parent or friend, etc…

Loose the masks! There is a world who needs you. A son who needs a dad again, a daughter who needs to have a tea-party with her very own superman.

Listen and beware, once you drop the mask, you will hear it beckon for you. You will feel condemned and as a liar. Save Heart–you are normal! There is a process that transforms you from the false self to the true self… A Superhero transformation. There will be pain and anguish; heartache and even maybe tears. …at first… But I’d save you from that by imploring  you to not wait any longer– start being real today. Do not wait. The World is caving in and needs you. Lead us. Guide us. Empower us to stand and fight. 

You have what it takes. You are your daughter’s and wife’s Knight in Shining Armor, You are the baddest dude in town in the eye’s of you son’s. YES YOU!

1. Start by asking what masks have you have picked up and why you picked them up?

2. Give them a name–call them for what they are.

3. Tell a close friend in confidence

4. Drop one mask

5. Explore the man you really are and repeat the cycle… what other masks are you holding on to? why?

By doing this, you will enjoy living. You will find that peace you have been looking for in a new and stronger confidence. You will not have to keep collecting masks to win. You, being yourself have become a Superhero!


What was the hardest mask for you to lay down?



C/T = R

Consistency over Time will always get Results.

I love this statement because its true in the negative as well as the positive.

If you are getting great results its because you applied this formula.

If your results stink, its because you applied this formula.

Give yourself some grace. It did not take you 15 minutes to get to where you are now and it sure won’t take 15 minutes to get you where you want to be.

If you know this formula works, and you know it does, then what small changes would you dare to make today that will result in something you want later? How long would you commit to a change?

Every time I read the story, the Tortoise always wins…